i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
