I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
