I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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