I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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