what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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