absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
