When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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