Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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