Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
