We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
