Heybabeimwearingurpanties
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
