the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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