also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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