Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
