How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
