someone threw a dead crab at me
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I just googled if crying burns calories
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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