Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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