I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
