Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
