Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
