2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
