Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
