Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
