Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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