goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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