i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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