i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
