I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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