he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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