Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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