girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
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Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
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Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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