She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
