I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
