We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
