You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
If I die, sorry about rent.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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