Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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