So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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