Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
When did angry sex become our thing?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
