i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Come share oat with me in your robe
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
