Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
