Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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