my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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