Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
