Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
