Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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