Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
