Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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