Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
