Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
it was like eating out sand paper
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
