you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
