His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
