Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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