Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize
