you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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