Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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